Central Park and Jesus

New York, Day 2- Once again the day was way too warm to wear my new coat and boots I bought for New York. We slept in since we had had zero sleep the night before and the three-hour time difference was killing us. Since the morning (okay, it was really late in the morning) was so beautiful and sunny, we put on our running clothes and headed to Central Park…only thing is, is that we did no running. We were way too busy looking at all the scenery and taking pictures. A lot of joggers passed by us and I thought, “How cool would it be to say that I ran through Central Park” but instead I just bought a New York running store T-shirt, which works for me. The park was full of New Yorkers who thought it was summer and took Friday off work just to enjoy the park. It was so warm that the ice skating rink even had a layer of water on top. We found the Bethesda Fountain and heard singing. There was a group under the bridge singing pretty harmony and an audience soon gathered. We then went over by the fountain and listened to two young women singing with ukuleles. Diane felt compelled to give them money as well as all the other street performers. She started her own scholarship program for starving artist.

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Late in the afternoon we went over to Times Square and bought same day tickets for Godspell.  Nancy suggested it and tickets were available. Nancy had always loved the music from it, so we trusted her and we are so glad we got to see it. Godspell was a musical originally done in the 1970’s so I thought it was going to have a 70’s hippie vibe. The music is the same but the dialogue has been updated for today. It was performed in a small theater in the round. We had great seats. Godspell is based on the parables of Jesus and set to music. I’m sure it was popular in the 70’s because of the Jesus Freak movement. It’s funny; cause the very same musical is relevant still 40 years later. I guess that is because the Gospel of Jesus Christ is timeless. I think the play really represented Jesus well which is weird in these modern times. He was portrayed as loving, generous, encouraging and sacrificial. The story was so powerful that people were emotional when the play was over. We topped off the evening with cheese cake and then walked lots of city blocks to ease the guilt.

A New York Minute...or how to survive Manhattan on 60 seconds of sleep

Day 1:  This is my fourth trip to New York and each time I have traveled here, I have taken the red-eye flight. I now understand the terminology. Nancy got about one hour of sleep and she was the lucky one. Diane and I slept for about a minute...total. I don't know; maybe it was the seat that only reclined 2 degrees; maybe it was the turbulence over the Rocky Mountains that made me fearful the rest of the flight. All I know is when I walked to the back of the plane EVERYONE was asleep under coats and sweaters looking like they were filming a glorious mattress commercial. I was envious of their slumber and wished I was more like my husband who can fall asleep sitting anywhere.


We hit the ground running. The fun started with a shuttle ride from JFK. It looked like a clown car with all the luggage and the 43 people in it. The ride was interesting as lines on the road seem subjective to most drivers here. Horns were blaring and breaks squealing. Luckily we were the second group dropped off. We checked into our apartment and headed out. Just like all fine New York apartments, this one comes with a doorman. Not one in a fancy coat who opens the doors for you, but one of the crazy variety. He was a very friendly old guy who found out that we were from California. He went on to tell us his life story and about visiting California 20 years ago. He even showed me pictures of himself when he was a little boy that he kept in a baggie at the front desk. Now every time we walk by the desk, we try hard not to make eye contact but to no avail...he talks to us anyways. He kind of gave us the heebie jeebies last night as he was not at his desk...he was walking down OUR hallway with a million keys in his hands. We were worried that maybe he made a visit to our apartment when we were out. Luckily, he has the weekend off! We covered most of Manhattan that day. We went all the way down to Battery Park to gaze at the Statue of Liberty across the water, (kinda like Chevy Chase looked at the Grand Canyon in the movie, Vacation), visited Ground Zero Memorial, went to Times Square and finished the night with the view from the top of the Empire State Building...all on NO SLEEP. By the end of the evening when we were in line for the elevator at Empire State Building, we felt like we were at Disneyland at midnight and our kids just wanted one more ride. By the time we rode the subway home and walked the few blocks to our place it was past midnight. We turned in around 1 am and we all slept like rocks.

Day 1, on our terrace...I felt as tired as I look.  This is a bad, funny picture!

I am too old for the red-eye but I know I can sleep when I'm dead....and this almost killed me. See you tomorrow.

The Real Housewives of Cucamonga take on Manhattan

In two short days a few of us housewives, three to be exact, are going to New York for an extended weekend. We will be leaving the guys behind. As much as I love to travel with my husband, there is nothing like a girl's trip. I have been to New York three times before...once on a couple's trip, once with my family for a surprise 40th birthday trip and a few years ago, my sis and three girlfriends flew there to walk in a half marathon for "mature women."

When it is just the girls, the remote control is never touched....in fact, the TV is rarely on. It is all about go, go, go. We land at 8 am and will not land in our beds until late in the evening after a very cosmopolitan dining experience at around 10 pm.  Then, we'll walk back to our east side apartment around midnight. Of course the three hour time difference doesn't hurt!

The weather is suppose to be mild. I am packing a different kind of coat for each day, as the weather is changing from pleasant to cooler over the weekend. I plan on blogging throughout our trip. This is Diane's first New York adventure and I think Nancy was there once when she was a kid. That means I have to be the tour guide and subway aficionado. We will follow strict diet guidelines....only eat at indigenous restaurants. A bagel or two (okay, maybe one every morning) will be a must as well as a pretzel with mustard from a street vendor. 

The Cucamonga Housewives are ready for adventure, not the Sex in the City variety but long walks (possibly a jog, just so I can say I ran) through Central Park, a stroll up 5th Avenue (where I will say, over and over..."I can't believe I'm walking up 5th Avenue") a visit to Ground Zero, a Broadway musical and the most but necessary touristy thing of all, a city view from the top of the Empire State Bldg.

Stay tune. I'll post pics. We will not be wearing our typical sparkly evening gowns, halter tops and diamonds. We will leave those in Cucamonga. We will try to blend in with the natives, because we will not have time to stop to sign autographs.

What is your favorite thing to do or favorite restaurant in New York?

Stop This Train

Don't know how else to say it, don't want to see my parents go
One generation's length away
From fighting life out on my own

Stop this train
I want to get off and go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can't but honestly won't someone stop this train

So scared of getting older
I'm only good at being young
So I play the numbers game to find away to say that life has just begun
Had a talk with my old man
Said help me understand
He said turn 68, you'll renegotiate
Don't stop this train
Don't for a minute change the place you're in
Don't think I couldn't ever understand
I tried my hand
John, honestly we'll never stop this train

See once in a while when it's good
It'll feel like it should
And they're all still around
And you're still safe and sound
And you don't miss a thing
'til you cry when you're driving away in the dark.



I love the lyrics to this song and I think it sums up what I am feeling this week. Yesterday, my baby turned 22 and today, my baby sister turned 50. I know, I know...it's so cliche to say, "Where does the time go?" but really....WHERE DOES THE TIME GO? My life is going by so fast and I worry that I spend my time waisting most of it. If I don't make a conscious effort every day to accomplish something, even if it is just dusting or folding towels, I can spend too much time on the computer, running to Target for things I don't need or searching for the perfect lip gloss (I have about 12 in my drawer practically the same color). Yet I fall in bed every night like I was doing something important like a 15 hour brain surgery. Really my life is not that complicated but I think I have reached a point where I just kind of wander from mindless task to mindless task. I know...I'm living the dream. There are people, like my sister who run two dental practices, sits on a little league board (mind you, has no kids in little league), is heavily involved in her son's lives, has three horses that need to be fed and exercised and an array of other important activities. She would love a day of mindless running around. I hate to say this, but I think I need a job...okay a part-time job. Wait, if I got a job, wouldn't my days even go by faster?


Okay, maybe I don't need a job but maybe what I need to do is take on the day and squeeze as much valuable living into it that I can so when I do fall into bed exhausted, it was because I did something worthwhile. Since my son's injury, I have had to help him with his daily stuff but with each day, he needs me less and less. It's kinda like when he went off to kindergarten, I needed to re-evaluate. I think I am getting to the same place. Kristin has moved out and Brian can pretty much take care of himself now....where does that leave me?


In eight very short years I will be an age that starts with a six!! I'm not quite sure how that happened. I do know when I was working and raising kids the days flew by but I never expected that time of my life to be over so soon. I remember thinking, "I can't wait to be able to go to a store and have Brian not run around under the racks of clothes." and "soon, Kristin will be old enough to babysit her brother and we can go out without having to pay a sitter." Those days came and went. I guess I can look forward to chasing my grand (gulp) kids around department stores.


I think I need more than a to-do list to make my life meaningful...plus I hate list...too confining and rigid. How do we stop or just slow down this runaway train? Maybe that is the wrong question. What if we didn't stop it but totally enjoyed it like a thrilling roller coaster ride? What if life was so full and rich that we actually wanted the train to keep going so when the ride was over, we giggled and screamed, "I want to ride some more!" Just like the lyric says, "Don't for a minute, change the place you're in." I've got to learn to appreciate the time I am living in now...not wish for younger days and not worry too much about the future.


 I gotta go....got a train to catch!

Sixteen Candles

Kathy, I mean Kate, and me 2012

Yesterday, I made the two hour drive to San Diego to see one my best friends. Okay, let me explain. Girls are the only ones who care about the "best friend" title so not to offend my best friend, Diane, of 30 years, or Chris, my childhood best friend, or my sister, Robin, who is like a best friend or my cousin, Jana, who I love like a best friend, Pam who I worked with for 16 years or Gina who I serve at church with....WAIT, am I the luckiest girl or what??? Now that you all know how important you are to me, I will continue. I met Kathy in the 7th grade at a small, neighborhood church, New Haven, in Tulsa, Oklahoma. She was short, (everyone was shorter than me, even then) freckled face, funny and had the guts that I wasn't born with. She liked Peter Frampton, Kansas, and Gary Wright and still to this day when I hear the song "Dreamweaver" it takes me back to her yellow bedroom with a white fur bedspread...so cool in 1975. When she put that album on, she would stand there, put her hands in the air and sing it like she was performing at Madison Square Garden. All talking had to stop and we had to pay homage to Gary and his Dreamweaver. We spent EVERY day together during the summer, weekends during the school year and never fought about anything. She taught me how to do a back flip on the trampoline and a back dive off the diving board. She was fearless and I was a chicken. I think that is why I liked her so much....that and she laughs really easily. 

I moved to California when I was 16, just when stuff was getting really fun. Kathy stayed and went to school there and eventually got married and is now living in Scottsdale. We have kept in touch over the years, but life got crazy and busy and we haven't seen each other in 12 years...until yesterday. Kathy is in San Diego for a week with family and that was too close not to make the drive. Yesterday was 1976 all over again. Peter Frampton did not show up, but we didn't need him. I would love to say that we haven't changed a bit but when I look at the picture we took at the beach yesterday, I still see the cute freckle face girl sitting next to a middle aged lady with wind blown hair. We have changed. We have been through stuff that our 16 year old selves could not have imagined...both good and bad. We are way more interesting (Kathy has a new name, Kate, that her husband gave her in college), loving, forgiving, entertaining and depend on God way more than we did at the tender age of 16. Plus, we now realize that we don't know everything and are not afraid to admit it.

I really can't explain how a friendship last over 40 years. I've been told that relationships, marriages, and friendships have to be nurtured in order to be sustained but this friendship hasn't been nurtured at all. It has a life all it's own...we just choose to join in. It's almost like Kathy and I were weird Siamese twins separated at birth....she got all the freckles and I got all the height and every time we see each other it is some crazy cosmic reunion.

Life is going by way too fast not to value your dearest friends. I think it was Susan Sarandon who said in a movie, "A husband is a witness to your life." I think that is really true but especially true about friends you make during your youth. That is why it is so much fun to get together and reminisce. All these things that are distant memories come alive again and takes you to a really rich place.

Who is your Ethel to your Lucy?? Call them up today and laugh about something you did together. You know laughing adds years to your life. Kathy and I plan on laughing all the way to the senior center!

Strange Bedfellows

As bedtime approaches and my old lady doxie, Minnie, by my side, I am hit with a question....when did dogs get people status??? We have had Minnie since 2005. I rescued her from the pound. Well actually she found me. As I walked up and down the aisles of the shelter, she practically had a fit and was literally screaming, "Pick me, pick me!" She was dancing around on her hind legs and I kept walking past her to a very calm black male dachshund. I had a short conversation with him and told him I would be back tomorrow after I discussed him coming to live with us with my husband. The discussion went something like this....Me: "There is a cute boy doxie at the pound and I want him." Louis: "No, we don't need another dog." Then I begged and he finally gave in. The next day I returned and went to his cage and walked right past Minnie....she was still dancing and so happy to see me. I thought who would want that hyper dog? When I approached my boy, I reached down to pet him through the cage. He snapped at me and thus ended my undying love for him. Minnie was the only other doxie at the shelter and I really wanted this breed since my last dachshund succumbed to a suburban coyote. So since that pretty fall day in 2005, we have become best friends. She ended up being a very calm dog and her best trick is sitting up on her hind legs and she moves her front paws up and down like she is begging. I think it is so cute....Louis is not impressed. Well anyway back to bedtime. Since Minnie came home, she has slept at the end of our bed and since that first night Louis ask, "Why does that dog have to sleep in our bed???" I don't have an answer other than I want her to. (I failed to mention Minnie has COPD, a lung disorder that gives her a cough like a 76 year old smoker, but I love her anyway.) Just to make me feel less weird, I looked up stats on dogs sleeping in beds with owners. 62% of small dogs get the good life, 41% of medium dogs share the covers and 62% of large dogs hog the bed. This has reached epidemic proportions!

When I was a kid, our dogs always slept outside cause they were considered animals back then. I remember looking out at them in the rain and begging my parents to let them in. I was told "no way...they're soaking wet!" At least most of the time they had a doghouse. A doghouse is a little shelter that people used to have in their backyards for their dogs and sometimes husbands too. I don't think my dogs like the rain. When I put Minnie outside to do her business and it's raining, she looks at me like I'm crazy and then runs for a hedge for shelter. 

Jiggy from Beverly Hills

Today there are dog sitters, dog whisperers, and dog clothing designers. We shop for gluten free, corn free, and fat free dog food.  It's a no no to give table scraps and by no means don't give your dog a raisin or a chicken bone or he'll die instantly. We spend tons of money on doggie vitamins, prescriptions and grooming....all this for a critter who eats his own poop. My friend, Gina, once had a dog, Chip, who loved a fine dining experience. He would sit quietly at the head of her humongous dining table when we were having dinner. He never dined with us, just enjoyed the good dinner conversation. On the other hand, my sister's dog, Ronnie, prefers a nice cheeseburger from Carl's Junior or maybe a quesadilla from Del Taco. My brother-in-law has no qualms about making a special trip through the drive-thru.

We all love to spoil our dogs. Take them to the Westin and they will be treated to a posh "Heavenly" doggie bed. I saw an ad on the Internet for designer elevated dog beds. The slogan read, "Earns you brownie points and keeps your dog loyal to you." I thought a doggie biscuit did that. My daughter's dog, Scout, goes to doggie daycare and even comes home with a report card....I bet a better one than my son at that age!

Dog owners are also known to give their pet cute nicknames. I call my dog Minnie Moo or Moo Moo. My best friend, Diane, has a cute pooch named Stanley and she calls him NuNu...maybe I got Moo Moo from NuNu...gosh when I actually see this in print it gets even sillier. NuNu, I mean Stanley, is no regular dog. You can find his cute pic at the local Trader Joe's in the dog food aisle...even Stanley is hip and shops at Trader's! Yep, these funny nicknames are starting to sound like baby talk and with baby talk comes grand kid status, I mean the doggie kind.  Check out your friend's phone and I bet you'll see a few pics of their beloved hound. Yeah, dogs are living the good life these days. Our friends, the Bentley's have a lab that uses their gorgeous pool on hot summer afternoons. Greg comes home from a long day at work and sees the dog floating in the pool. Greg feels like if his dog could talk he would say, "Hey Greg, bring me a beer...would ya???"


I could go on and on about my friend's dogs...they all have people status. I do however, know a couple who swore off dogs several years back and are not ashamed of it. I guess it was Christmas Eve and the kiddies' stockings were filled with candy. Their cute little dog raided the stockings when everyone was in bed. When they awoke Christmas morning to see what Santa left, they found a surprise...rainbow barf all over their white carpet from the ingested Skittles the dog got into the night before. Since that time, they decided that a dog is an animal and a kid is a kid and don't mix the two.

Children's author, Shel Silverstein, wrote one of my favorite books, Lafcadio. It is the story of a lion who eats a hunter then picks up the hunter's gun. He learns to shoot the gun and becomes a famous sharp shooter known throughout the world. He starts to wear smoking jackets, goes to a barber, enjoys a good cigar and loves marshmallows. He even returns to Africa to hunt lion. When he comes face to face with a lion, he realizes that he has turned almost human and doesn't like it....he just wants to be a lion again. I wonder if our dogs are sick of the people expectation we put on them...the clothes, the spa treatments, the organic food. Maybe they just want to lie in the sun, eat something weird they find in the yard and chase their tail. Have we created a Lafcadio syndrome in our dogs? Wow, now they probably need to go to doggie therapy. As I ponder this, it's time for me and my old lady to hit the sack. Louis for the millionth time will ask, "Does that dog have to sleep in our bed?" and I will just look at him while I cover Minnie up with her blanket! I know this same ritual is going on in lots of homes tonight. Everyone needs a good night sleep cause it off to doggie yoga in the morning. (wink!)

Minnie Moo

kyle

Brian and buddies before Homecoming 2007...Kyle is far right 

I think some of our best friendships take root during our youth.  We are more transparent during that  time and the walls and fronts we put up as adults haven't quite formed yet. We laugh about the same things, don't stress about political or religious viewpoints and our only worry is our complexion. I was the type of kid who had a few really close friends...never was the popular girl. My daughter, Kristin, had plenty of friends but somehow during her youth, we escaped all the girl drama and the friends she brought around were golden. My son, Brian, had tons of friends during high school. It seemed like with every inch he grew, he gained ten more friends....probably because he played football and with that sport comes cheerleaders and friends of cheerleaders. Even though he really enjoyed football, I think he enjoyed the guys on the team even more.  One of the friends Brian met through football was a great guy named Kyle. He was tall, athletic, smart, good looking, extremely funny and a great conversationalist. Kyle could talk himself out of any situation because he was so charming and everybody loved him. I always thought that one day he would make a great President or actor...or an actor who plays a president. When Brian got hurt right before senior year, and could no longer play football, Kyle hung close. He visited Brian all the time and would come and kidnap him from the rehab hospital and wheel him across the street to a burger joint for a grilled cheese and a coke. A few months later was Senior Night for his football team. Each senior was honored and ran through a gauntlet of players and cheerleaders when their name was announced. Of course Brian was unable to run but sweet Kyle, pushed him all the way through. I hate crying but that did me in. Kyle continued to be the kid who picked up Brian for school dances and took him everywhere.  The great thing about Kyle was that their relationship really didn't change after Brian got hurt.  BI (before injury) Kyle and Brian did all kinds of crazy things together and that never changed.  I really appreciated Kyle, not just because he was great to my son, but because he was a quality human being. He would crash on our couch for days, have long philosophical conversations with my husband and me and make us laugh like no other.

Last year, on this day, I found out that Kyle was killed in a tragic car accident. It seemed unreal cause guys like Kyle don't die. He was filled with too much life and goodness to go away from us so suddenly. We all walked around in a fog for several days. Kyle is missed by so many people. He had friends by the dozens and a family that was crazy about him. His sweet mother, Donna, gathered some of his closest friends together last August and gave each of them a bracelet that contained some of Kyle's ashes. Brian wears his around his neck so Kyle is close by even today.

Brian's recovery has been so successful for lots of reasons but I think all of his loving friends who never saw him any different played a huge role in his success. They still show up, and do things together....things that 21 year old boys (men?) do. Kyle will be forever 21 and I know Heaven is a much more interesting place now that he is living there. On the other hand, our lives are a little dimmer cause Kyle was utter sunshine and lit up any room he entered. We really miss you Kyle! 

 Who is the sunshine in your life? Who would be your legs if your's didn't work? Who would take you to get a grilled cheese? We all need someone in our lives like Kyle...it makes the journey so much sweeter! 

Kyle and Brian at the park before Brian was injured