Strange Bedfellows

As bedtime approaches and my old lady doxie, Minnie, by my side, I am hit with a question....when did dogs get people status??? We have had Minnie since 2005. I rescued her from the pound. Well actually she found me. As I walked up and down the aisles of the shelter, she practically had a fit and was literally screaming, "Pick me, pick me!" She was dancing around on her hind legs and I kept walking past her to a very calm black male dachshund. I had a short conversation with him and told him I would be back tomorrow after I discussed him coming to live with us with my husband. The discussion went something like this....Me: "There is a cute boy doxie at the pound and I want him." Louis: "No, we don't need another dog." Then I begged and he finally gave in. The next day I returned and went to his cage and walked right past Minnie....she was still dancing and so happy to see me. I thought who would want that hyper dog? When I approached my boy, I reached down to pet him through the cage. He snapped at me and thus ended my undying love for him. Minnie was the only other doxie at the shelter and I really wanted this breed since my last dachshund succumbed to a suburban coyote. So since that pretty fall day in 2005, we have become best friends. She ended up being a very calm dog and her best trick is sitting up on her hind legs and she moves her front paws up and down like she is begging. I think it is so cute....Louis is not impressed. Well anyway back to bedtime. Since Minnie came home, she has slept at the end of our bed and since that first night Louis ask, "Why does that dog have to sleep in our bed???" I don't have an answer other than I want her to. (I failed to mention Minnie has COPD, a lung disorder that gives her a cough like a 76 year old smoker, but I love her anyway.) Just to make me feel less weird, I looked up stats on dogs sleeping in beds with owners. 62% of small dogs get the good life, 41% of medium dogs share the covers and 62% of large dogs hog the bed. This has reached epidemic proportions!

When I was a kid, our dogs always slept outside cause they were considered animals back then. I remember looking out at them in the rain and begging my parents to let them in. I was told "no way...they're soaking wet!" At least most of the time they had a doghouse. A doghouse is a little shelter that people used to have in their backyards for their dogs and sometimes husbands too. I don't think my dogs like the rain. When I put Minnie outside to do her business and it's raining, she looks at me like I'm crazy and then runs for a hedge for shelter. 

Jiggy from Beverly Hills

Today there are dog sitters, dog whisperers, and dog clothing designers. We shop for gluten free, corn free, and fat free dog food.  It's a no no to give table scraps and by no means don't give your dog a raisin or a chicken bone or he'll die instantly. We spend tons of money on doggie vitamins, prescriptions and grooming....all this for a critter who eats his own poop. My friend, Gina, once had a dog, Chip, who loved a fine dining experience. He would sit quietly at the head of her humongous dining table when we were having dinner. He never dined with us, just enjoyed the good dinner conversation. On the other hand, my sister's dog, Ronnie, prefers a nice cheeseburger from Carl's Junior or maybe a quesadilla from Del Taco. My brother-in-law has no qualms about making a special trip through the drive-thru.

We all love to spoil our dogs. Take them to the Westin and they will be treated to a posh "Heavenly" doggie bed. I saw an ad on the Internet for designer elevated dog beds. The slogan read, "Earns you brownie points and keeps your dog loyal to you." I thought a doggie biscuit did that. My daughter's dog, Scout, goes to doggie daycare and even comes home with a report card....I bet a better one than my son at that age!

Dog owners are also known to give their pet cute nicknames. I call my dog Minnie Moo or Moo Moo. My best friend, Diane, has a cute pooch named Stanley and she calls him NuNu...maybe I got Moo Moo from NuNu...gosh when I actually see this in print it gets even sillier. NuNu, I mean Stanley, is no regular dog. You can find his cute pic at the local Trader Joe's in the dog food aisle...even Stanley is hip and shops at Trader's! Yep, these funny nicknames are starting to sound like baby talk and with baby talk comes grand kid status, I mean the doggie kind.  Check out your friend's phone and I bet you'll see a few pics of their beloved hound. Yeah, dogs are living the good life these days. Our friends, the Bentley's have a lab that uses their gorgeous pool on hot summer afternoons. Greg comes home from a long day at work and sees the dog floating in the pool. Greg feels like if his dog could talk he would say, "Hey Greg, bring me a beer...would ya???"


I could go on and on about my friend's dogs...they all have people status. I do however, know a couple who swore off dogs several years back and are not ashamed of it. I guess it was Christmas Eve and the kiddies' stockings were filled with candy. Their cute little dog raided the stockings when everyone was in bed. When they awoke Christmas morning to see what Santa left, they found a surprise...rainbow barf all over their white carpet from the ingested Skittles the dog got into the night before. Since that time, they decided that a dog is an animal and a kid is a kid and don't mix the two.

Children's author, Shel Silverstein, wrote one of my favorite books, Lafcadio. It is the story of a lion who eats a hunter then picks up the hunter's gun. He learns to shoot the gun and becomes a famous sharp shooter known throughout the world. He starts to wear smoking jackets, goes to a barber, enjoys a good cigar and loves marshmallows. He even returns to Africa to hunt lion. When he comes face to face with a lion, he realizes that he has turned almost human and doesn't like it....he just wants to be a lion again. I wonder if our dogs are sick of the people expectation we put on them...the clothes, the spa treatments, the organic food. Maybe they just want to lie in the sun, eat something weird they find in the yard and chase their tail. Have we created a Lafcadio syndrome in our dogs? Wow, now they probably need to go to doggie therapy. As I ponder this, it's time for me and my old lady to hit the sack. Louis for the millionth time will ask, "Does that dog have to sleep in our bed?" and I will just look at him while I cover Minnie up with her blanket! I know this same ritual is going on in lots of homes tonight. Everyone needs a good night sleep cause it off to doggie yoga in the morning. (wink!)

Minnie Moo