You Are My Sunshine

Kristin teaching me how to use Instagram

You are my sunshine
My only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray
You'll never know dear
How much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away






According to Pres. O, today my daughter is an adult...she turned 26. Weird thing is, I was 26 when she was born. I had already been married four years, making payments on a home and driving a Honda.  Kristin is single, living near the beach with two friends and drives a Honda. She is living the life I never experienced and I am happy for her. I have no regrets for the path I chose but I think it is neat she is finding her own path.


Kristin was born during a time when pregnancy wasn't sexy. We didn't wear skin-tight shirts to show our belly, get naked pics taken of our glorious changing bodies, or get a sonogram at every doctor appointment. We wore plaid shirts with white collars and lots of other hideous outfits to camouflage the fact that we had sex that caused the pregnancy in the first place. On Saturday morning, May 31, 1986 I went into labor. That day I had a friend's baby shower, a going away party for church friends and a college graduation party to attend and I went to all of them! I must say, by the time I arrived at the last party, people were encouraging me to head to the hospital. At 11 o'clock I agreed and we left. By midnight, I was in active labor and Kristin was born four hours later. I had about 30 visitors that first day. I remember my dad coming in and holding Kristin. My first thought was, "Oh no, my dad now knows I had sex!" Yep, there are some things one just can't hide anymore!


A few days later I decided to take Kristin to the mall. She was four days old. It took me two hours to get her ready and pack everything she might need. I was a nervous wreck. I went with my best friend, Diane, and her little baby, Corey. I'm not sure why I put myself through that but once I had her loaded up in the stroller,  I loved pushing her though the mall. I wanted to yell out, "Hey people, look what I made!" From that day on, Kristin is in love with shopping. As soon as she could talk, her first words in the morning would be, "Where we going today?"...gosh I loved that about her...a girl after my own heart!


Kristin and I had almost four years together before Brian showed up and she was my buddy. Other than being somewhat of a drama queen, she was a joy to have around. Kristin has taught me lots of stuff. Like not everything is funny, how to hug and show love, how to use my iphone, and anything and everything about celebrities. She can do things that I always wished I could...like paint and draw. She is so talented and artistic. She is great with technical stuff and I suck. She is way less judgmental than me. She is way more sensitive and sentimental. She is not afraid to stay by herself and loves scary movies. She is brave. She cries easily and loves really hard. However, we do share some similar traits. She is tall like me and has a love affair with shoes. Food is our vice and laughter is our medicine. We both have a passion for reading but she now reads even more than I do. We love Glee and Ryan Gosling. 


I have always said that we moms love our sons like crazy but one day, they will find love and we will be replaced...not so with daughters. Daughters seem to have plenty of love to go around. Kristin, you are my sunshine. You are lovely and even though you are a part of me, you are not me and for that, I am glad. I am very proud of the human you have become. Happy Birthday!

Live a Great Story

Last year I read Donald Miller's A Million Miles in a Thousand Years...okay, I read it three times. It was a catalyst to change the way I looked at the world. At first, I thought I just picked it up at the right time of my life but I just looked at it again and that was not it at all. As I glance through all my underlines and notes, it still hits me smack in the face.


The premise of his book is that we need to be living great stories with our  lives or as author, Jim Wallis writes, "The world is full of great challenges, terrible tragedies and overwhelming joys--there is simply too much going on to be part of a boring story." Recently I saw Donald Miller interviewed about his book and he said something that really made me think. He said we need an inciting incident to throw us into a story. For him, it was to sign up for a cross-country bike ride to raise money for clean water wells. He had no idea how it would pan out but he decided to throw himself into a story. That decision changed the course of his life.

Last week I bought the sign pictured above and hung it over our TV since we spend a great deal of time staring in that direction. I thought it would serve as a good reminder not to waste my life away. It may not seem like a big deal to waste a moment cause how long is a moment...a blip in your life??? It was probably just a blip when Donald had the chance to sign up for that ride. It was probably just a blip when you first laid eyes on your spouse, probably a blip when you crossed the line of faith, or said "yes" to volunteer for a worthwhile endeavor. You see the moments that we let slip by can turn into moments that throw us into life-changing stories. Maybe not always life-changing..maybe just life renewing like calling everyone around the dinner table instead of eating in front of the TV. Donald goes on to say that we need to be intentional with our lives...no one lives a meaningful story with their lives if they don't get off the couch!

What moments do you need to seize today? What story do you want to write with your life? Have you recently said, "no" to an opportunity that was scary, inconvenient, difficult or seemed so far out of your comfort zone that there was no way you would engage? These may be the very things that will throw your life into a tail-spin and it just might end up being a great adventure, for a great cause, a story worth repeating. Recognize those little moments, grab them, and let the story carry you away. What are you waiting for? 

Miss Cow Queen

Mom and me...both white headed...mine camouflaged 

I recently read Ann Romney's tribute to her wonderful mother. Her mother must have done an okay job, cause Ann seems to have her act together. I know this tribute won't get picked up on the AP but my mom most certainly deserves to be honored in the web sphere.


It's crazy to think about how different her upbringing was than mine and just 24 years separate us. Mom has an interesting past. She is full of colorful stories about growing up in a rural area in southeast Missouri in a much different time. Her name is Melba. She is one of seven kids and her mom, Nellie, my grandma, deferred to relatives when it came to naming of the offspring. She has no idea who came up with Melba but she also has brothers, Ether Lee and Bedford Ray...both unusual names. My mom was 11 when her mom gave birth to her youngest sister. Back then, folks didn't talk about pregnancy...I guess cause people would know what you've been up to. My mom was ushered to her grandma's house and when she came home the next day, there was a baby. It never even dawned on her where it came from...she was just excited to have a sister instead of another ornery brother. Her dad, John Coats, was a farmer during the week and a Baptist preacher on the weekends. He only had an elementary school education and the only book he ever read was the Bible. He could barely write but could preach an hour sermon by memory. My mom's weekends were filled with church and funerals, cause they knew everyone in their little town. She was not allowed to wear swim suits or dance but I think she somehow got around that rule cause I have seen pictures. When she was in high school (graduated in a class of 32) she was named Queen of something. She was wearing one of those classic tulle dresses of the 50's and had a crown on her head. It was handmade of cardboard and foil to add some shine. My sister and I always thought it was shaped like cow horns so we referred to her as the "Cow Queen". I don't think she appreciated our mocking.


When she was a very young woman, she saved her money and bought a brand new 57 Chevy. She told us she would drive that car 100 miles an hour down gravel roads just for fun. A couple of years later, she met my dad, he loved that car, so he married her. Shortly after they married the car was sold, probably to pay for me.     It's kinda ironic cause my parents divorced after 18 years and my mom got a beautiful Chevy convertible in the settlement...what goes around, comes around.


My mom's small town roots shaped her and thus shaped me. I learned to value family, laughter, church, comfort food and story telling. When I was a kid and we were visiting my grand parents, we would all go to church, then come home to a huge family dinner with all the relatives. My grandma's house was small so lunch, which was called dinner, (and dinner...supper) was served to the men and kids first...men at the table and cousins out on the service porch. After the men were finished, they got up and then the women would sit down and eat. I know this seems weird now, but nobody cared. I loved sitting down with all the aunts cause they told great stories and there would be tons of belly laughs. After lunch, I would go sit on the porch swing with my grandma and all the others would pull up a chair or just sit on the wooden porch and we would just hang. Sometimes we would have relay races around the house and even my grandma would race us in her house dress and barefooted. 


My mom was pretty independent and self sufficient as a young woman and she nurtured that in me. She was not a helicopter parent. She did not make my school projects, take me to school, pick out my clothes, bake (she did enjoy a ding dong in the microwave), and buy me everything I wanted...we did a lot of "window shopping"...code for "we are not buying anything today." She always had a job so when she did show up at my school, I felt on top of the world and because she showed up dressed for work, all my friends thought she was beautiful and stylish.


My mom only spanked me twice in my life and both times it was for my smart mouth but we always made up. I think I sat on her lap even when my feet were dragging on the ground...she had a great lap. My mom was the kind of mom that wouldn't spell a word for me but would yell in my room, "look it up." Yep, I learned pretty young to be self sufficient, not because she was neglectful, but because she values that. Finally my mom said, "Yes" as much as she could and if she told me no, I guess she had a good reason. Maybe that is why I still hate to be told no.


I enjoy spending time with my mom. When we go to lunch, she always buys and when we go shopping, she opens her wallet too. Recently, we were at the Apple Store...her first visit. She didn't stay in there long. When I was finished, I went outside and asked her why she left. She responded that the place freaked her out...like she was visiting the future and she was overwhelmed. She said, "Teri, one day in the future I bet they will make a phone where you can see the other person you are talking to." I said, "Mom, let me introduce you to FACE TIME." She gasped and said something to the effect of "Stop the planet, I want to get off!"  Fun times!


Thanks Mom for being present in my life. Thanks for teaching me about God. Thanks for being patient, kind, loving, truthful. Thanks for teaching me that some dresses require a slip, how to iron a dress shirt and cut off all hanging threads. Thanks for being my biggest cheerleader. Thanks for letting me pick on you cause you're a democrat. Thanks for picking out my husband, encouraging my kids, and the five million lunches you have bought me but most of all, thank you for teaching me how to laugh at myself and not sweat the small stuff!  I love you Melba Florene!

Act Your Age

I live by the motto, "Just because they make it in your size, doesn't mean you should wear it!" and "Dress your age." The creators of Forever 21 don't really believe that you will be 21 forever, that is just how many days that little shirt will last until it falls apart in the wash. The picture on the left is a fashion crime for lots of reasons...not the tattoos but the bra and zipper front skirt...so 2009. At least this lady is fully committed...looks like she doesn't do anything halfway. She won't have to worry about getting a tan to look great in her new bikini and she'll save tons of money not coloring her gray roots. It kills me cause I keep telling my daughter, Kristin, not to get a tattoo cause when you're old, you'll hate it.  This pic shoots down that argument!


I think I am pondering age stuff tonight because I just spent two days at a conference geared to reach the "emerging generation"...you know the entitled kids we all raised. It was called Catalyst and focused on the up and coming leaders in the church. I went with a team of people from my church and it was eye-opening. It was two days of non stop speakers, music, concert lighting, comedians, modern day poets, magicians, gospel choir and a partridge in a pear tree. It was very fast paced cause the emerging generation has a short attention span from all the X-box that they play. The theme was "Be Present"...cause most of the time, most of us aren't...no matter what your age. We are constantly on our iphones, ipads, facebook, twitter, and are trying to do two things at once (unless you are a mom, do not try this...we have it perfected.) They reminded us to put the electronics away and just listen but most of us kept our phones right on our laps, scared we might miss an important text from groupon or travelocity (I get a weekly update about air travel prices for my summer vacation.)


When I got home after the second day, I was exhausted. My senses were way over stimulated and just the sheer pace of the two days of presentations wore me out. It really made me think how different I am from this up-coming generation. Besides just being way older, I am way more practical, cynical, routine driven, skeptical, and judgmental. I just used six adjectives about myself that I am not proud of, YUCK....yes I am entering the second chapter of life and am hanging on to my ideal self by a thread. I read books from youngish authors that inspire me to address the world as they do but after spending 16 hours with 3500 "Catalyst" I fall way short. I need to be more loving, open, less sarcastic (wait....I take that one back) and depend more on God and less on myself. 


It's okay to act my age. There is a little wisdom I could impart and I learned that my best days may still be ahead of me cause God is not finished working through me until the day I die...so I got to get busy! I think this sums up the two days pretty well...

Live and live well. Breathe.

Breathe in and breathe deeply.

Be present. Do not be past.

Do not be future. 

BE NOW. 

-Kyle Lake-

King

Good Friday Art by Kate McRae

When I sat down at my computer today to write about Easter, I had every intention to write about "Sunday's Coming" and post that famous video of S.M. Lockridge's sermon. I love that video and we have used it in church more than once just to remind people that Good Friday was a sad day...a day where evil thought it won but "Sunday is a comin..." But like I always do when I sit down at the computer, I check my all-important facebook first. As I scrolled through my news feed, I noticed that Aaron McRae, our soon to be new pastor, posted this picture that his daughter, Kate, drew for Good Friday. I am no art critic but I think this little girl captures what today is all about. I was struck by all the black in the picture. It looks like all the evil in the world is crushing in on him but what looks like to be a circle of light at the top of the cross, looks like Jesus is still connected to his heavenly father. Jesus looks lonely in all that darkness. I also love that she wrote "King" at the top of the cross as that is historically correct as Jesus was known as "King of the Jews."

I recently read Tim Keller's, King's Cross. In it he says, "God created the world in an instant, and it was a beautiful process. He re-created the world on the cross- and it was a horrible process. On the cross, Jesus is getting what WE deserve so we can get what HE deserves." Keller also points out the irony of the whole crucifixion thing because here is Jesus, the one who will one day judge over the ENTIRE world, being judged BY the world. 


So why is this important to you and me today? Easter is a great reminder that death has no hold on the one true God. There have been many great prophets and teachers throughout history...great men of faith but not one of them conquered death. When their time on earth was finished, they were proved to be mortal. And since Jesus was our substitute sacrifice, we now can now share the same experience...life after death. Christ's death on the cross is our bridge to God. Tim Keller puts it like this, "If you actually get the thing you have been seeking you suddenly realize that it's not BIG enough for your soul. It doesn't produce its own light." All of us are searching for something to fill us up...relationships, material things, substances that alter our consciousness...after awhile, everything leaves us empty and then we search for the next best thing. Lots of folks live their entire lives searching and never fill up that empty place in their hearts. 


Someone who totally understands all of this is our featured artist, Kate. You see, she has been battling brain cancer for 3 years and she is only eight but she gets God. She understands that HE loves her personally, knows everything about her and knows HE is the one who is going through this journey with her. She knows that Easter is not a fairytale but Easter is her personal story of hope. A hope of a living God who loved the world, that he gave up his only sinless son, (don't tell me that God doesn't understand what you are going through....he made the toughest decision a parent had to make) to die for the sins of all of us. Because of this, you, me and Kate have a reason to rejoice. We are all just one "yes" away from knowing Jesus personally.


So today, they killed Jesus, put him in a borrowed grave, rolled a giant stone in front of the tomb and assigned a guard so his followers could not steal the body. On Sunday, two women will visit the grave to prepare his body and find the stone rolled away and Jesus gone. They will meet a stranger on the road who will ask, "Why do you look for Jesus among the dead? HE IS ALIVE!" There is a redeemer...do you know him???


Okay...couldn't resist...here's the video

For more information on sweet Kate, learn about her story on prayforkate.com


HAPPY EASTER

Trash Digger

 

New York Day 4: Originally I wasn’t planning on writing about this day but some drama happened at JFK and it is all because of the pizza and maybe the ribs and probably the mac and cheese plus some stupidity…you know how that song goes by Jamie Foxx…”Blame it on the a a a Alcohol.” My song title for the day is, “Blame it on the p p p p Pizza.” Let me explain. As I mentioned in yesterday’s blog, we ate like little piggies. When we were shopping, I bought a ring…not an expensive one but one I was planning on wearing with a ring Louis gave me for my 25^th wedding anniversary…one problem…fat fingers from my bad vacation diet. I was so enamored with my purchase, I put it on and put my anniversary ring in my purse for safe keeping.  When I got on the airport shuttle, I decided to put it back on my finger but you know what….my dang fingers are still swollen! I should have just put it back in my purse, but I slipped it on my pinkie. When we got out of the shuttle, it started pouring rain and we were in a hurry to get out and into the terminal. I reached into my pocket for tip money, then ran inside to check in. I then went into the restroom (sorry but this is important to the story) and when I was washing my hands and had just thrown the towel into the trash, my heart stopped…my ring was gone! I immediately sat on the floor and dug through an airport trashcan, touching every paper towel in there desperately searching for my ring…pretty gross. We then retraced all of my steps and posted Diane as luggage watcher as Nancy and me searched for the ring. We think it probably fell out when I reached in my pocket for the tip money. It is lost and someone is now enjoying my nice ring. Hate to think of someone wearing my ring but more than that I really hated to tell Louis the bad news. I couldn’t even bear to call him. I had to send him a text with lots of I’m sorry and pictures of hearts. He was great about it and told me not to worry and to have a great flight. I couldn’t even read the text aloud to the girls as it choked me up. This July is our 30^th anniversary and I think I’ll have to keep him for another 30 years.

So up until the last day, our New York adventure was great fun. We will probably have to join Weight Watchers or go to food rehab. I highly recommend when you travel to take your trainer with you like I did. When I show up to work out, she will be as puffed out as I am…share the guilt.

Have you ever lost something really special to you?

Eat Yourself Silly

New York Day 3:  Before we left on our trip, several friends recommended restaurants that we had to try. We did our best but honestly there weren’t enough meals in three days to hit them all. On Saturday, we decided to ride the subway down to Bleecker Street, one of the oldest streets in New York. It runs though Greenwich Village. Before we left, my friend, Gina, told me about a great subway app. You just put in where you are and where you want to go and bam…you get directions on where the closest subway station is and which train to hop on. This is a marvelous invention. We never got on the wrong train and we rode them all over town. It was nearing lunch time and Nancy’s friend told her about a place called, John’s Pizza of Bleecker Street. We went in and I can’t even describe how wonderful it smelled. I guess it is one of those little places that the locals enjoy. It was established in 1929 and the pizza is baked in coal fired brick ovens. The cozy decor probably hasn't changed much and all the booths had initials and small carvings  by customers past. We sat down and I don’t know what came over us but we all ordered a beer (which is rare for me and I think it was Diane’s first beer she had ever ordered). Then we ordered two pizzas…Nancy and Diane shared a large and I ordered a medium and ate the whole thing except one slice. Now I totally could have eaten that slice but I just couldn’t live with myself knowing I ate an ENTIRE pizza. We polished off two pizzas except for that one slice I didn't have the guts to eat...literally! Our table was right by the open kitchen and we told the surly pizza guru that he made the best pizza we had ever had. He asked us where we were from and Diane told him California...he replied, "Yeah there is no good pizza in California." Compared to what we demolished at lunch, he was right. As I sit on the plane, I really wish we had ordered a pizza to go. 

Waiting for the large pizza to arrive

We spent the rest of the day sightseeing and shopping and by the time we got home, we were tired. It was our last night in New York and we couldn’t just sit in our apartment…where to go to dinner?? My friend Jamie just shared with me a great quote, “If you don’t get out of the bottle, you can’t read the label.” This really pertained to us our last night because we spent a lot of time running around the city but never looked in our own neighborhood. Right next door to our apartment was a restaurant called, Neely’s. I don’t know if you have seen the Neely’s cooking show on the Food Network but they are a cute couple who specialize in comfort food. We made reservations and even after we consumed mass quantities of pizza, we were ready to have us some barbeque. Oh my gosh…we took our already sodium overdosed bodies into that restaurant and ate like it was our last meal on death row. We had these amazing spicy passion fruit drinks that had some kind of jalapeno and passion fruit juice. It had a hot little kick when it hit your throat. We then ordered hushpuppies and deep fried pickles but we didn’t stop there. I had delicious baby back ribs with a side of mac and cheese and Diane and Nancy ordered beer can chicken with some mac on the side. What started out as a fine meal ended up as, “What were we thinking???” Our appendages are still swollen from all the bad eats but we promise to be good starting tomorrow!

Nancy and Diane with Lady Liberty...she looks bigger on TV!

Saturday was a great day, with great memories. I wish laughing burned all the calories we took in that day….we’d be skinny by now.